The Real Challenge

When I get back from vacation it’s really hard to go back to work. It’s a struggle, but I know I just have to do it. Eventually, it settles, and the work becomes the norm again. I look forward to the next vacation, but reality isn’t that bad either. But, someday I am going to retire, and I can be on a permanent vacation and do whatever I want.

The habits I am learning on the Resolution Solution journey are becoming the norm – eat something before leaving for the office, pack the gym bag, pack a lunch, leave the desk and head to the gym at night, make a sensible dinner with lots of veggies and something whole grain, upload the Bodybugg, record the food, compare the calories... It’s getting to be a routine. That should be a good thing. But it’s starting to feel like a rut. Things aren’t new anymore, it’s not really exciting.

I’ve had quite a few special occasions over the last few weeks that involved food challenges that I didn’t do so well with. But, everyone knows that it’s hard to stay in control at those events where food and drink are flowing. That is understandable and acceptable…a reasonable excuse. “I was around a lot of food – everyone else was eating - it was hard”…that’s ok, girl, we understand….

Superficially, I can compare my special food occasions to a food vacation. But it doesn’t take a little while to get back. They infiltrate, and I can’t forget them. They are not part of the routine. That sucks. The routine sucks. I need out…maybe I will just call something a special occasion in my head so I can lose control with my built-in excuse that is understandable.

Why can’t I struggle a little and be done and back in the routine?

The real challenge is not the special occasions, but is instead – the routine. It’s not always going to be new and exciting, but I still have to do it. That sets off an alarm inside of me and I throw an immediate barrier up to it because it is scary. I don’t want it to become drudgery because I will fail at it. Maybe it’s because I know it is permanent. There is not going to be any retirement. I have to do this forever. That scares me, and I don’t want to be afraid of that because I will run away. I know myself. I have done it before.