A Disclaimer

I ended my last post with a question. What hope is there that any woman who struggles with body image will ever be satisfied with how they look? Is there any hope for me that I will ever be?

I hope that anyone who is taking the time to read this narcissistic spewing of what is inside my head reads Karli's reply to my post. Karli's help is so precious to me. I could never explain how much she has done for me. If you read it, you will understand how brave and brilliant she is and why I am so lucky to know her. She cares enough to straighten me out.

Yes, the tags hanging on those suits got to me as I stood there disgusted with myself. I know that in order to not have to go through this again, I have to come to terms with the struggle of who I am versus who I look like I am...with my perception of myself versus my perception of what others think of me...

As Karli says, with my shell...

I know am not alone, yet I appear so self-centered.

I have tried to say all along that I have no answers. These posts come with a disclaimer - I am no expert. I have no answers. Just a lot of stuff inside my head that needs to come out. I was talking to a friend at work today and she said that when this started, she was shocked that I who have always been so private, would ever do such a personal thing as try to lose weight publicly. I am trying to remember why I decided to. I am trying to decide what I am hoping to accomplish. I am not sure why I think anyone else should care.

Lots of people are talking to me about what I have been saying. Lots of people tell me it hits a nerve or a raw spot. Why do we keep these things in the dark? Shame? Do we think no one really cares? Do we not care enough ourselves? Do we think there are no answers?

I am full of questions.